Cricket from Hell

So Kia's complaining on a Monday morning about how tired she is because she took Nyquil too late. I can top that:

9pm: washin my face in the bathroom and I hear a cricket. Thinks to self, “man I hate all the freakin bugs in my bathroom.”
930pm: watching tv in bed and I hear a cricket. Thinks to self, ‘fuck is it in my room now?? Gross…..” I start to look for it. cant find it. but the chirping noise is so freakin loud and im freakin out.
945pm: call dad in from watching football to help me find the bug. Jim moves around all the crap in my room, being a good sport. Me, huddled in the corner of my bed. We cant find it anywhere but it so damn loud. All of a sudden, Jim looks up. “I think it’s in your ceiling.” He reaches up and moves around some of the ceiling “tiles” (read as, foam pieces of shit painted white). Chirping stops momentarily then starts again a few minutes later across the room. “Yep it’s in your ceiling.” And he walks out.
Lovely.
1130pm: I fall asleep.
Midnight: I am awoken by the god-awful chirping noise and it’s right above my bed, by my feet. I am freakin out. I take the small bottle of lotion next to my bed and toss it up at the ceiling. Chirping stops. I go back to sleep.
1215pm: wake up again. fucking chirping. Throw more stuff at the ceiling. This happens two more times within the next half hour. I fall back asleep.
2am: I wake up in a cold sweat. The bug is gonna eat me!!!! It’s so damn loud and I keep thinking it’s gonna come out of the ceiling and land on my face. I call yitzy. “Take your pillow and blanket and go sleep on the living room couch.” So I do. We chat for 20 mins and I fall asleep.
3am: Woken by the baby. Now I can hear her cuz she’s right down the hall. It stops. I fall asleep.
5am: More crying. Fuuuuuuck.
515am: I finally fall asleep until my alarm goes off.
So don’t tell me you’re tired.